Monday, September 29, 2014

How the 'Gilmore Girls' Saved Me From Depression.

Images from "Gilmore Girls" Season 5, episode 7, "You Jump, I Jump, Jack."

There was a point in my life when getting out of bed seemed impossible. Besides the crippling nausea that comes with 1st trimester morning sickness, I began to feel the loss of my mother who passed away a few months earlier.

It was a strange and beautiful time. I was a newlywed. Married life was just as wonderful and tumultuous as people said it would be. I was a first time mom, a growing baby and pregnancy hormones were a package deal.

My husband was in graduate school and I worked the late shift as a newspaper copy editor. Driving home around midnight, I often felt the need to comfort my stress with the consumption of (fill in the blank) ______________ a) Wendy's Chocolate Frosty b) Nachos Bell Grande from Taco Bell or c) Cheetos. I once had a dream that I gave birth to a bright-orange baby, with skin coated with powdery cheese. I cut back on Cheetos after that.

With my late night schedule and pregnancy weariness, I woke up for breakfast around the time most people sat down to lunch. One sleepy morning, I vaguely remembered my husband's goodbye kiss. Wide awake, I did nothing but stare at the soft green walls of my bedroom.

Depression wrapped around me like a blanket. Its thick, darks layer covered up any light. Hours crept by. Then, I had a thought: 'Gilmore Girls' will be on soon.

I blinked. I liked that Rory Gilmore, budding journalist.

The daily syndicated reruns came on at noon, right around the time I was having my first meal of the day. With my morning meal of ice cream or leftover Chinese, I found myself being drawn into the magical world of Stars Hollow.

Slowly, I sat up. One foot in front of the other, I shuffled past the confines of my room. Watched my show. Ate my meal. Went to work. The next day, same thing happened.

Wake up to bleakness. 
Remembered the "Gilmore Girls."
Get out of bed.

Over the coming months, my heart -- along with my expanding belly -- started to fill. I cried when Rory dedicated her high school graduation speech to her mother, Lorelai. When Lane and David kissed for the first time to the background track of David Bowie, my numbness melted.

My obsession for this comedy/drama became so intact that not only did it get me out of bed everyday, but I looked forward to it while in labor. With no real comprehension of what my next few hours would be like, I got excited when I saw a TV in the delivery room.

Clutching my husband's hand, I gasped. "It's Tuesday night, 'Gilmore Girls' is on at seven!"

I missed the show that night (turns out, having a baby is hard work), but my husband gifted me with a few seasons of "Gilmore Girls" on DVD. I watched my show. Nursed my baby. Recovered from childbirth. The next day, the same thing happened.

Feed my daughter.
"Gilmore Girls" time.
Get out of bed.

Now a days, my alarm clock goes off much earlier. I no longer work at night, although teething babies and sick kids still keep me up.  My children fill me to completion. When I think of my mother, I see her in them.

This Wednesday, October 1st, all seven seasons of the "Gilmore Girls" will be available on Netflix.  I'm among the many, buzzing with excitement and counting down the day when I will be reunited with the show once again. For me, this day will be a celebration. A chance to give thanks to television show that, once upon a time, gave me something to wake up for.


  1. I love this and I love you, Veeda Bybee. How did I miss this series!? But I gots me some Netflix so I'll have to get on top of that ASAP!

  2. I love this. I'm glad you had the Gilmores:)