Monday, February 15, 2016

Get up, Get up.

Trying to convince myself I'm having fun.

This winter season, I went skiing for the first time in ten years. I used to go all the time in college. I used to be pretty good. Then, life and motherhood happened.

Fast forward one decade. I'm standing at the top of the beginner slope, scared all over again.

My first run was awful. Torture. I kept falling. On my butt, on my face. I was so tired. My legs ached, my lungs burned and the last thing I wanted to do was get up and try again. 

Unfortunately, I had too. How else was I going to get down? (I contemplated taking my skis off and walking down the hill, but pride wouldn't let me do that.)

Eventually, I made it to the bottom. I encouraged my sister and brother-in-law to go again without me. Even though I completed the run, I felt defeated. As caught my breath, a few thoughts ran through my head.

1) I am an old lady.

2) I tried skiing. I don't have to do it again. But . . . 

3) . . . . if I don't try again, I won't know what will happen if I get back up.


When my sister came back to get me, she asked if I was finished for the day.

"No," I said, shoulders back. Head high. "I'm going to try again."

Gulp.

This time down the slope, I took my time. I leaned into my turns, felt the snow beneath my feetStay away, fear. My legs remembered how to move, my lungs remembered how to breath. The rush of adrenaline and wind whipped through me and then it happened: I felt brave.

Shame was replaced by the joyous sunshine of accomplishment. And guess what? For the rest of my skiing time, I had fun.

I fell. 
I got up. 
I tried again. 
It hurt like heck, but I did it.

My writing process has been a lot like this skiing experience. I've stumbled so many times. It's been painful experience. Querying is miserable, pure mountain climbing torture. A struggle I've wanted to throw my skis at.

However--

I know giving up is not the way to get down this hill. Brush off the snow and try again.
To feel the wind kiss my face and and the thrill of the ride pump blood in my veins?
So very worth it. Let's get back up.

5 comments:

  1. Pushing though the pain is so hard, but you did it! Very inspiring, Veeda. :)

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  2. Thanks, Emily! You really inspire me. 😊

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  3. You are such a good writer! Loved the post, and love you! 😉

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  4. So glad to see your blog up and running again! This was a fantastic analogy! Good luck in the writing world girl!

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